Becoming a mum later on in life is more common than it was 20 or 30 years ago. Maybe it is because people are now putting a family on hold until they have reached the top position at work. Or because many people settle down again with a new life partner and they start again with kids. Many people want to explore the world and put off becoming a mum later in life. Whatever your reason is, it is part of your story. There are lots of things to worry about when you become a mum later in life because let’s face it, there is still a stigma for older mums.
Today I wanted to share what it is really like being an older mum, and why it is so awesome.
Older Mums Have Their Shit Together
When you have put your career first, you have built a foundation for your family. You own your home, you have a steady income and you can afford to provide for your child. You will be more organised. If you are an older mum because you have decided to have a second family, then you will be an old hat at this parenting lark. You will have been there and got the t-shirt with it. When you are an older mum, you don’t seem to panic so much and take things with a pinch of salt. You really are organised and ready to do this! And you have many years of parenting under your belt and can be a shoulder to cry on for the newer mums.
You Feel Confident To Take Adventures With Your Children
As an older mum, you have had your adventures in life. Nothing phases you and you will be keen to take your own kids on adventures. Whether it is camping in a forest somewhere, or a trip around the world. You feel ready to do it, and feel confident enough to do it. You have done it before you had kids, so you will be happy to do it when you have the kids.
Older Mums Don’t Have Clicks At The School Gate
Younger mums need a tribe at the school gates, they feel more confident if they are with other young mums. Older mums turn up at the school gates, get their kid and go. You might find a tribe of older mums, but it is different from a younger mum tribe. You are honest, you have nothing to hide, you discuss menopause. And you will be the school mums that drop off at school and go to drink wine in someone’s kitchen.
The older mums are more likely to get involved in the PTA and go in to help the kids as parent volunteers.
You Will Be Scared Of Becoming A Mum
when you get pregnant, you will be known as a geriatric mum. It’s a horrible phrase but it just means you are an older mum. There will be so many things that you read on the internet about your health and your baby’s health. Do not read the internet – speak to other older mums instead. They will give you honest advice and talk about their own pregnancy. It is scary having a child and there is nobody around to talk to.
You Will Feel Alone
Your friends will disappear, they have kids that have all grown up and they are starting a new era in their own lives. So you will likely drift off in different directions. But people come and go from your life. Friends change and you will make new friends that have kids the same age as yours. So even though you feel like your friends are jumping ship, they are actually just going in a different direction to you. They will still be there at the end of the phone if you need them.
You’re A More Relaxed Mum
As you get older, you don’t get so stressed when you bring your kids up. Maybe it is because you lived your life, you made your mistakes and you know how to stop your own children from making the same mistakes. Maybe it is because you have an easy come, easy go attitude and it shows in your parenting. Or maybe it is because you are too tired to get stressed and argue with the kids, so it’s easier to just be relaxed.
But as an older parent, you seem to have more patience with your children. It makes for a much happier baby and family.
You Will be So Tired!
Nothing will ever prepare you for how tired a pregnancy and having a baby will make you feel. You are older than a younger energetic mum, so you will feel drained and zombified all of the time. It is even worse if they are 5 years old and still not sleeping through the night. Try some relaxation techniques to help you sleep at night. Spray your pillows with lavender to help you sleep.
Take a nap in the daytime if your child has a nap. You are no good to your child if you are too tired to cope. If your kid is at school, climb back into bed after the school run. I can assure you everyone has a Mumma nap.
