Love or lust: how to tell the difference

Love or lust: how to tell the difference

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When you are in the early days of a new relationship, there can be lots of emotions thrown into the mix.  Excitement, nervousness, joy and relief.


But how can you tell whether what you are feeling under all of that is love or lust?  Is this a relationship of the moment?  Or could it turn into something more serious?


Unfortunately, it is not straightforward, but there are a few signs that you can look out for, both in yourself and in your partner.  Let’s take a look.

You want to talk

When you are in the throes of lust, the relationship is very physical and high energy, but when something more is bubbling underneath you might find yourself wanting to talk.


So if you find yourselves staying up late into the night, to discuss all manner of topics, then you might be attracted to each on a level that is more than just physical.


You might find that this conversation finds its way into your life in all sorts of ways.  You might feel the need to message each other regularly or ring up for a chat on your lunch break.


You think about them all the time

And not in sexual way.  You might wonder how that important meeting went or about how they would like a song you heard on the radio.


It doesn’t necessarily think about them as an individual, but more that you are reminded of them in your day to day like.

You care about people that matter to them

When someone starts to matter to you, you start to care about the people that matter to them.  You might feel drawn to meet their families and spend time with their friends.


This is a recognition of trust and appreciation of this person that you want to open yourself up and build a relationship with their social circle too.


You accept their flaws

Unfortunately, everyone has them (even me) and when we start to fall in love you can see their flaws as part of who they are.  You might be able to see past their annoying habits and also start to enjoy them.


Obviously, I am not talking about the major personality flaws here.  If you spot those, it might be best to leave depending on what you are confronted with.  But more the natural ups and downs of a person’s life.


You enjoy their company

This one is pretty obvious, but if you like spending time with this person then it is a good indicator that it might be love rather than lust.


So if you find yourself organising a brunch date or arranging tickets to a show, then you probably enjoy being with this person beyond just the physical elements.


But does it matter?

If everyone is enjoying themselves, it doesn’t really matter whether it is love or lust.  Embrace the moment and have some fun.  What starts as lust might turn into something else a little down the road anyway.

Disclaimer:  Remember the information you read here does not represent advice.  Any ideas or suggestions are just that and may not work for you.  Read the full disclaimer here.


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