Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means that if you click on them and make a purchase I may receive a small amount of money at no additional cost to you.
Marriage is a big commitment. Yes, you can always get divorced but you want to take action to avoid that situation if you can.
Talking and communication is the bedrock of a good marriage and it starts before you even say “I do!” There are some big questions that you need to discuss first.
My husband and I spent time talking through our responses to these questions to make sure that we were in alignment. We didn’t necessarily agree at first but we formed our path together.
Do you want kids?
Kids literally change your life and for some people whether or not they want kids can be a deal breaker. You need to discuss this before making a lifelong commitment.
Make sure you discuss all areas of bringing children into the world too. Such as how many you would like, what you would do if you couldn’t naturally have children and how you want to raise them.
If there is a difference of opinion, you need to reflect on this. How important is it to you? Don’t automatically assume that your partner is going to change their opinion later.
How do you manage your finances?
Money is a big part of every relationship. Once you are married your finances are joined together so for good or bad you tied together financially.
Make sure you discuss debts, pensions, building wealth and day-to-day budget. Also consider how you would manage your money if one of you took parental leave.
If you already own property separately talk about what will happen to these. Will need a prenuptial agreement? These conversations before you get married could make your life so much easier afterwards.
Do you have any life goals?
What are the big things that you want to achieve in life? Getting married is unlikely to change this and you need to make sure that you are on the same page.
Sharing life goals is one of the joys of marriage. And when you have two people working on it, your chances of success increase.
It is also a good time to start making these big plans and putting the steps in place to get there. Talk about buying houses, travelling, starting a business and more.
Where are we going to live?
You might already be living together, but if not you need to discuss this. It is even more important if you have children from previous relationships as this is going to affect them too.
You might decide that you will move into one or other of your homes. Or it might make sense to find somewhere new to start married life together.
If you have been in a long-distance relationship, this will add a new level to this question that you will want to consider.
What questions do you need to know the answers to?
If something is important to you, then make sure that you take the time to discuss it before you tie the knot.
Disclaimer: Remember the information you read here does not represent advice. Any ideas or suggestions are just that and may not work for you. Read the full disclaimer here.